10 Things I Learnt From My Week in Majorca

what I learnt from a week away to majorca

There’s nothing like a week away to get you pondering on life eh? And while some people learn actual, real life, important reflective stuff, my list is a bit more, ahem, practical. But good life lessons nonetheless.

Autumn has set in now, but I’m still clinging onto the summer because ARGH I am not ready for boots and cold weather and a new date on the calendar. Nope.

So I’ll leave this list here, along with a lingering sadness and longing for more sea, sand and fruity cocktails. Until next year, summer…

1) Pom pom shorts look cute on the model. They look cute on you… when stood in front of the mirror. But you know what’s hell on earth? When the bloody pom poms get twisted together and you don’t realise until you go for a wee and suddenly you can’t get your shorts up and WHO INVENTED THIS SPAWN OF THE DEVIL that is impossible to untangle?!?! Oh look, now I’m walking like I just shat myself. Grand.


2) Flight delays are a living hell. Legit. On the way out you want to get out there, like FFS I paid for sun and sea and sand not to see the inside of a Thomson plane for 6 hours. NOPE NOPE NOPE. And on the way home I want my bed, not an airport floor and a poxy meal voucher that doesn’t even cover the price of an actual airport meal. Pffft.


3) But you know what make flight delays bareable? A good podcast, loads of water, and access to a phone charger, portable or otherwise.


4) Researching the place more than just via Instagram tagged locations would be a good idea. Because suddenly you arrive and oop turns out the old town is actually a taxi/bus away and the port is a 40 minute walk and the “lots to do on the doorstep of the hotel” is more brit abroad than Benidorm. sigh. (Read: Why I’ll Never Return To Alcudia here.)


5) Prickly heat is a thing. A really bleedin’ unpleasant thing that makes you look more like a lobster than the golden goddess you had in mind. Mine was helped by switching suncream and using the plain unscented shower gel that came with the hotel room. Note to self: Test drive sun cream before subjecting your skin to it for 12 hours a day.


6) UK life is stressful for no reason. We do everything at 100mph, as if the world’s going to stop because we had a Saturday lie in or didn’t plan every aspect of our week. Well I vow to be more selfish, take more time to myself, and chill the fuck out. Because what’s the point in life if you can’t enjoy it???


7) Learning basic phrases in other languages is SO important. We’re lucky that 90% of the places we’ll travel to will speak our language, but it’s nice to be able to ask for basic things in their language. You won’t go far wrong if you learn please, thank you, and ‘can I get the bill please’ before you jet off.


8) Don’t leave it until September to buy your sandals. The shops will be full of jumpers and boots, and maybe the odd dregs of the summer sale that you probably wouldn’t be seen dead in. Sigh.


9) Oh and try on said sandals before committing to a week in them. The espadrilles that looked great on the model *might* turn out to be a weird fit that make you walk like you’ve done a poo. (talking from experience so you don’t have to).


10) Not all cocktails are created equal. The two for €5 bad boys aren’t always what dreams are made of. Especially when made in an trashy British bar while you’re being forced to watch the City match by your boyfriend. NOT THE DREAM.