Ahhh, the good old honeymoon period. Back when you were all about impressing your SO, all in the name of convincing them you’re an absolute goddess with zero flaws. 7 takeaways in a week?? Nah you’re mistaking me for someone else bbz. Honest.
Then all of a sudden you’re sat there at the weekend, gut hanging out and unshaved legs wondering when it got like this. Mate, that honeymoon period… OVER.
Here’s 16 signs you’re past the honeymoon period.
1) Farts are a thing now. Not even accidental slip ups. The long, smelly, purposeful kind. Soz bae, it’s uncomfy to hold.
2) You have weird couple things you probably won’t tell other people about. Like yelling into each others mouths just to see how it feels, or making faces with each others bellies.
3) Sometimes you might not shower for a full weekend. But instead of being embarrassed about it, you’ll shove your armpit in their face and ask if you smell bad. So attractive.
4) You no longer worry about boring them with your “he said she said” tales. It’s their duty to listen, so listen they will.
5) You’ve seen each other poo. You’ve seen each other be sick. Hangovers have a strange way of breaking the boundaries don’t they?!
6) You perform the sniff test on their clothes when doing the laundry. And somehow their BO isn’t as bad as other people’s BO. Tasty.
7) You order takeaway and slob out in front of the telly way way more often than you dress up and go on proper dates. Because your mutual love of Netflix binging cannot be denied. And NOPE, not the ‘and chill’ kind.
8) Talking of date nights, when they do happen they usually involve the cinema. Because sitting in silence and oggling actors is fun, plus you get to drink ice blasts and get annoyed at anyone who talks through the film. Nothing like mutual hate to bond over.
9) You’ve learnt to go shopping with your pals, because it’s just not worth the aggro when you take your boyf. It’s all about dates you both enjoy, life is too short for being polite about pastimes.
10) Spot picking is a hobby. And ear wax removal. And blackhead extraction. ALL THE GROSS BODILY FLUIDS.
11) You don’t avoid arguments. Na-ah. If they’re being annoying, they’re gonna know about it. Because arguments are a fact of life and you know that you’ll get it off your chest and be best buds in 10 minutes. Life is not for pretending you’re okay with something for the sake of not arguing.
12) You shotgun things like not making breakfast, because long gone are the days you romantically make breakfast in bed for them. Make me a brew bitch, I deserve it.
13) Annoying them is your favourite hobby. There’s nothing like poking someone or singing really badly until they go nuts to warm the heart. Ahhh.
14) You’re not afraid to eat in front of them. There’ll be no salads round this joint unless you want a salad, and definitely no pretending you only want one course when really you’re eyeing up all 3.
15) In fact most early stage courtesies are no longer a thing. Like letting them tuck into their food without making them wait so you can take a photo for Instagram first. Yep, that’s not a thing anymore.
16) You know that you’re both gross, but at the end of the day you still want to curl up in bed together because there’s nothing you love more than being comfortable enough to pick someone else’s toe fluff. Ahhh, romance.